NBA on TNT

Basketball means a lot of things to a lot of people, and TNT hit the nail on the head with this one. Current stars side by side with legends of the game...it tears my heartstrings. This promo came out in December 2011 for the season opener, and despite all the anger stemming from the lockout managed to help me recall why I love this game so much. I'm literally crying right now.

Take On Me -- Volkswagen

Great music video, greater commercial. Very rarely does an advertisement hit me in such a deep, meaningful way. I legitimately want to buy a Volkswagen right now despite the fact that I already parade around town in a Japanese made luxury vehicle. Perhaps my favorite part of this commercial is that it reminded me of one of my favorite Family Guy scenes of all time:

I officially anoint Take On Me Volkswagen as the Mayor of Commercial Town.

EDITOR'S NOTE: Commercial Town is a misnomer...it does indeed have a municipal form of government. 

Cooooookie Crisp

This commercial brings me back to a simpler time, a better time. When Saturday mornings consisted of watching cartoons WITHOUT the hangover. When sitting on the couch all day was the dream, not the reality. The day my mom finally gave me permission to buy Cookie Crisp was perhaps the greatest day of my young childhood. Frantically searching for a box of it last week, however, might have been the low point in my adulthood. Cereals like Cookie Crisp changed the landscape of breakfast possibilities -- no longer did children have to wait until their first juice box at snack time to get their sugar fix. It also probably explains why so many kids ended up getting ADD, but that's another conversation for another day.

I give this commercial 3/5 syringes of insulin.

Water Country....Have Some Fun!

This commercial could not be more sentimentally valuable even if it wanted to be. If you grew up in the New England area, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you didn't, sucks to suck. From lounging about on the Lazy River to going headfirst down Geronimo, summertime trips to Water Country helped shape me as a man, and as a member of society. Most of my trips to this fun-filled park were during my time at Jewish Summer Camp, and perhaps the most critical aspect of trip day at Water Country was stocking up on candy. You had to be strategic here, because wait until the end of the day, and the lines were longer than anything Kenny Powers put up his nose. Once I had my haul of sweets, it was time to make a profit; that's right, I bought tens of dollars worth of candy, and sold it to younger campers at a 300% mark-up.

"Don't hate the player, hate the game." - Gandhi

I couldn't track down the actual commercial played in the early to mid 2000s, earning this post a N/A rating.

When Keeping it Real Goes Wrong: "Glossophobia"

This commercial is fucking stupid. Maybe this kid is afraid of public speaking because he's using his poor people google products all the time. Apple for lyfe. The end.

Four thumbs down.

Ramsey

If you look around the room on a Sunday and can't figure out who the Ramsey is...it's you. There's not much I can say about this commercial, aside from the fact that it encapsulates the entirety of what it means to be a fan of sport. We all have a Ramsey, known as  "That Guy," to some. What makes him so special, so unique, is the fact that all you need is a common allegiance and a cold case of an Bud Light to become best friends for an afternoon.

Thank you to the great people over at Anheuser-Busch for bringing this commercial into my life. I give it a gold star and a round of applause.

Ticket Oak For Days

What I wouldn’t do to go back in time and be a fly on the wall during the conception of this commercial…two words: contact high. I’m envisioning a smoke-filled room, exasperation imminent. Proposal after proposal rejected by the wholesome people over at StubHub, rumors are swirling that the agency might lose the account. In a pot-induced stupor, one guy blurts out, “Ticket Oak.” Everybody giggles. The rest, as they say, was history. I love you, Ticket Oak!

Sears Air-conditioner Commercial: Legend of the Game

Thousands, if not millions, of commercials grace the airwaves on a daily basis. Most are just an inconvenience to a viewer too lazy to change the channel, but a rare few transcend the boundaries of annoyance and speak undeniable truths to a generation. This commercial, my friends, is one of the rare few. From start to finish, it illustrates a pain we've all felt: being hot during the summer and too sedentary to take action. Eventually; however, we reach a boiling point and must take action. We're too damn hot, and we're calling Sears now. I can safely say that if my luxury apartment building lacked central air and I happened to be a pushover spineless husband living in the suburbs, the once illustrious Sears would be the first I'd call for an overpriced AC unit.

This inspirational ad receives a 9/10, and shines a beaconing light for the future of mankind.