White Squirrels...WHAT?

This isn't a commercial in the traditional sense of the word, or really in any sense of it, but the more you know right? Here at CommercialTown we like to pretend we care about the environment, so if you see a white squirrel, could you send it to me? Might need to find a taxidermist to help out, but well worth the shock factor of having a stuffed white squirrel at my apartment.

Uncle Craigy Does it Again featuring KMART

‘Tis the season, folks! And I couldn’t think of a more appropriate way to kick off Christmas commercial season than a bunch of dudes thrusting in their boxers. Nah, but seriously, pretty creative commercial by Kmart. Enough of a shock factor to get me to actually break through the clutter of most Christmas commercials and for me to actually watch it through. That being said, there’s still a negative infinity percent chance I ever step into a Kmart, but A for effort. Happy Hanukkah!

Cut That Meat!

I hate Peyton Manning, but I sure do love this commercial. Reminds me of the days when Tom Brady won 3 Super Bowls in 4 years, and your boy Peyton was like that unmarried cousin we all have...no rings.

Nationwide Baby -- The Uncle Craigy Remix

Spot on. Is there anyone in the world who doesn’t call their car their baby? I remember the feeling of getting the first scratch on my car. I was absolutely FUMING. How dare anyone make a tiny marking on my Ford Escape! Also, just how hilarious is a huge baby? When it’s crying on the fire hydrant, just too funny. Add in the music and this commercial just wins. Cars and babies. (Side note: I’ve now written two blogs and they’ve both been about children. Do I have a problem?)

-Uncle Craigy

Legend: Captain Morgan Pizza

Did Captain Morgan do it again, or did Captain Morgan do it again? Maybe I'm off base here, but ordering a delivery pizza in person is a legendary move on par with the clap-on clap-off light, Doritos Locos Tacos, and string cheese as a meal. I do, however, have one major gripe with the portrayal of this heist: these guys play it way too smooth. If I'm tying one on and gettin' shattad, I sure as hell wouldn't be suave, or smart, enough to execute this plan. Probably get the cops called on me for reckless behavior...so I guess I'd still be getting a free ride home.

Don't drink and drive! Five silver stars and half a gold one.

1997 Universal Monsters Postage Stamps Commercial

Well, the USPS sure has fallen a long way since this commercial came out sixteen years ago! Don't get me wrong, I love this commercial and surely do respect the fine members of the United States Postal Service, but this is just ridiculous to me. First of all, the USPS used taxpayer money to advertise novelty stamps right around the time email reinvented the communication game. Second of all, why was this commercial on the air? Did the USPS and Universal Studios really think that stamps should be advertised AND be used to advertise? No chance they didn't get fired, no chance.

Rating: Pretty pretty pretty good

@CommercialTown

AT&T Cutest Grape and Welcome Uncle Craigy

Before getting into the post, allow me to introduce the newest member of the CommercialTown Team: Uncle Craigy. Also known as the Craigulator, this guy means business. He enjoys drinking double digit beers on weeknights, trading over-the-counter African equities, and crying himself to sleep. Ladies and gentleman, Uncle Craigy!

Do you know how long this series of commercials have been on air? Almost a FULL YEAR! What makes this commercial truly stand out over its many predecessors is how the one girl completely steals the spotlight. These spots usually shine based on the comments of one child combined with reactions from the others. But not here, folks. We have a star in the making. I’ll never not laugh when I hear her say “Kindergarten!” Bravo, AT&T. You continue to churn out masterpiece after masterpiece. Now, maybe you should try to make your actual service half as good as your commercials.

PS. It’s absolutely terrifying that this girl is already so good at flaunting her adorableness. When she grows up, she is going to absolutely MANIPULATE boys. 

-Uncle Craigy

(EDITORS NOTE: The comments about the young lady featured in this advert are solely the opinion of Uncle Craigy and in no way are reflective of CommercialTown as an organization)